5 Ways To Manage Upsets When They Occur

Here are 5 ways to manage upsets when they occur.  

These can be upsets at work, at home, when you are driving or on a family vacation. 

This can help you if you are seeking a way to manage them differently. 

Currently, you are at the point where you know you are not handling them well or they are impacting your mental health.

You are seeking a way to change how you are managing upsets in your life.

Key Causes of an Upset For You

The first key thing to do to help with managing upsets is reflecting on what are the key causes of upset for you.  

Does someone telling you what to do upset or frustrate you?

What about someone cutting you off in traffic?

Or when plans change at the last minute?

You want to spend some time reflecting and writing down what are the situations that consistently cause upset for you.

How do you handle an upset

The second thing you want to work on is how do you handle an upset when it occurs.  

What is your response, reaction, behaviour when an upset occurs.

Do you keep it to yourself and internalize it?

Do you get busy and start doing things, cleaning, working etc.?

Do you focus on your breath and work to calm yourself down?

Reflect on which ways are helping your mental health and which ways are harming it.

Review the situation from the upset

Now it is important that you review the facts.  

Where did it happen? Who was involved? Were you tired? Were you hungry?

What thoughts were you focused on at the time?

Reflect on what is familiar about the upset? What pattern(s) keep showing up for you when upsets occur?

Go deeper, go within

At this step, the focus is to go deeper at what is really going on. This involves focusing within yourself. 

Do this step in a quiet place. 

When the upset occurs, where do you feel it in your body?

What does it feel like?

If the upset could communicate to you, what would it be saying?

What are you believing about yourself during and after the upset?

Notice what insights come to you as you ask these questions to yourself. Write them down.

The truth about you

Now is the final step.  This step is all about connecting to the truth about you.  

The absolute and complete truth about yourself. 

This is all coming from a place of love, understanding and compassion. All judgements are gone. 

What is true about you from a loving and compassionate place?

What is true about anyone else involved?

Who do you want to be when an upset occurs?

Write down these truths and who you want to be when an upset occurs.  

Read them everyday until you absolutely believe them without a doubt.

Continue to work through these steps as upsets occur to help gain a new skill to manage them. 

Need More Help with Managing Your Upsets?

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