This is lesson 10 in Part 1 of my upcoming book, “Engage, Connect, Grow – 52 lessons to guide individuals and corporate teams to the heart of what truly matters to them.” The book is coming out in the Fall of 2017.

I have spent a lot of my life being concerned about what others think about me. I would tend to
misinterpret comments people said to me and assume it was an attack against me.

You can read some of my journal entries below related to this. I have recognized that the person
who is actually judging me is myself.

JOURNAL ENTRY FEBRUARY 8, 2001  

Nervous & I don’t know why,

Embarrassed for things I’ve done,

Silent to not offend,

Worried about what others might say.

 

JOURNAL ENTRY FEBRUARY 19, 2001

Patient in how to react,

aware of the situation I’m in,

unsure how to proceed,

assuming others’ thoughts,

watching every move,

analyzing every detail,

worried I am, why I don’t know,

Alone in darkness and in light,

searching for whom, I don’t know,

Focusing on each day to keep on track,

learning is what some may say,

hoping my decision will be in sight,

confident is how I need be

 

JOURNAL ENTRY SEPTEMBER 3, 2002

I am very concerned as to what others think of me.

I have difficulty making my own decisions without considering what others might think.

I still am concerned as to what people from my past think of me.

I put other people’s thoughts in my head & make assumptions as to what they are thinking

of me.

I worry a lot about little things over & over & over again.

I forget how lucky I am

I tend to sacrifice my time & well-being to satisfy others

I have trouble managing my time to do things I want

I have been lazy & give up easier when my confidence is low

I have trouble listening when my confidence is low

I gradually get stronger one day at a time.

 

JOURNAL ENTRY JANUARY 17, 2000

One must be brave,

One must be certain,

One must listen to thyself and not to others’ negative thoughts,

Then one can be happy and feel.

 

Exercise for You

  1. What is your experience with judgement? Write about this here.
  2. Are these judgements actually true?
  3. How would things be different for you if they were false?

Exercise for Your Team or Group

  1. Write about any judgements the team may be dealing with.
  2. Is this team being judged a certain way in the organization?
  3. Are the team members judging the team as a whole in an unproductive way?
  4. Are these judgements actually true?
  5. How would things be different for the team if the judgements were false?

 

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